Love Me Or Hate Me.

No. You do not mother fucking love me....

Everyone knows that. Why can't you see you live to bring me down? You got nothing better to do beside making me miserable? You are worthless. I will never care nor bother bout you any longer....

Oh, how I wish you just die right now. You are the worst creature ever made. God must have been drunk when he did you. You put the blame all to Him. You brought injustice upon yourself. Spare a moment. Think, you stupid bitch. Think...

It is not bout religion. It is not bout God. It is not bout faith. It is not bout love. It is not bout trust. It is not bout hate. It is all bout logic, which you lack off by far apparently...

I hate you so much. The hatred is so immense. I cannot explain it. I really do not wish to be this way to you. But, you have left me with no choice. And when I have the bloody pitchfork in my hands, then you know who is God...

Demonology.

I am not me...

I am utterly engulfed by confusion. Paranoia messes my head. My mind is going hazy. Everything seems to be in a blur. I never thought Life could be such a bitch. I suppose it is just living up to its renowned reputation...

All the things I hate revolve around me. The more I hide, the harder it gets to breathe. I am suffocating under words of sorrow. I hate my life right now. I want to die...

I am trying so very hard to be strong for me. I am fighting with the thousand and one thoughts that keep contradicting one another at the back of my mind. I am so weak. I am withered. Life has wasted me. Temptations to hold onto the razor by my veins are so tough to fight. I cannot fend it off. Day and night, I see myself dying. In various sadistic methods....

You are the reason why I am like this. I do not intend to stay this way forever. Can anybody out there help me out?

My wounds can never heal in time. My voice is gone. My hope is crushed. My dreams lie to me. I cannot trust myself anymore. I have no one to cure this plague that I have within me. It is killing me...

I feel like I have betrayed myself. I have let myself down. I am a failure to me. I am hopeless. A goner for the soul within me. Though they may have my soul, they can never have my spirit...

I can never look at them the same anymore. They are twisted. God's damned creations are living with me. I am stuck with them. But, for now....

P.S: I HATE YOU.

Demolition Lovers.

The day that the world has been waiting has finally touched our lives...

Reality came onto me. It was bitter. It was cold. Biting cold. I refused to believe what was going on. It was as if my fears were taking their tolls on me. Alas. Perhaps it was time to brace myself. That was the only way I could notice your face...

Family. The only word that confuses me. It sounds so delirious. Frightening. Depressing. Dolorous. And all of the negative words that any human being can think of to describe that brutal word...

You guys are a bunch of jokes. Too bad I cannot stay long to laugh at you..

You Are My Beautiful Mistake.

I really want to end it once and for all. But, there is just something, a certain something, that is pulling me back....

Is it the beautiful memories that we have made along the way? Or is it the amzing moments we have spent together? Or is it due to fear of losing you and what life would be from then on?

How did we come to this? Things have gotten so ugly now. I refuse to believe reality. It appears that the sun has decided to abandon me. It seems like the moon does not want to my friend. It looks like the stars have ditched me...

I find myself like a fool. Utterly confused. Uncertain of my steps, leading me to nowhere. I am actually starting to regret being with you. Wow. I am extremely shocked. I am asphyxiating under sorrow. God...

I really love you. Please do not do this to me. I want to be with you. Do not provoke me. I really want to take care of you and grow old with you, my love. Please say you will do the same for me.

Better In Time.

Lies swirled around me. Almost in obvious attempt to asphyxiate me. Purposely. My view blurred. Thousand and one thoughts contradicted each other in my cloudy head. I tried to breathe. But, there was no air. My lungs dried. My heart stopped beating. I grew still...

I am so depressed now. Why do you keep pushing your finger in my opened wounds? Isn't it clear enough to you that my wounds are too sore to heal now? My scars can never fade even with the matter of time...

I cannot believe the man I truly love have to hurt me to this extent. I thought you can be the one for me. I thought you can be there for me. I thought you can take good care of me. I thought you can guide me. And I thought you can love me )':

I am completely engulfed by your attitude. Your immense wrath. Your intense tension. You are everything that I fear. You are such a nightmare!

I do not want to be with you anymore. I feel more hurt when I am with you then when I am not. I feel worst of my being whenever you are around me.

Being headstrong has it falls. I tried my best to stick with you. I tried my best to forgive you. But, you repeat your wrongdoings in just overnight, babe. This cannot carry on. I am just a small girl trying to choose my path but you just have to mess me up. All the mother fucking time. I feel so stupid right now.

I bully myself more than you do to me. I kill myself whenever you hurt me. I feel stupid when you scold me. I feel so lousy. Gawd. Why must things go so awry?!!!

I am oh so confused right now. I do not know what to do. I am ever ready to pack my bag and walk out through that door where I know my days have the sunshine and my nights have the stars. Love is never suppose to hurt. I am not meant to bleed for you. I am not to fall at all. However, there is just something holding me back from doing so....

Is it cus I love you way too much than you ever do for me? )':
Is there anybody out there who can save me?

Different.

It is obvious now that everyone, no matter how dear my heart held them close, they still hurt me...

It is absolutely unbelievable that you hurt me so much. Over and over again. I do not understand what I had done to deserve this hell that you are putting me through. I cannot trust you anymore. I had just lost faith in myself...

I thought you said you love me so much. Then if so, can you stop breaking my heart by being so cold and awfully mean to me? I thought you said you care alot for me. Then if so, can you please end the misery that you are putting me through? I thought you said you will always be there for me. Then if so, can you start being the man that I love initally?

You are extremely childish. I am baffeled by the kid in you. You always allow your heart to rule your head. Please end this shit...

You just have to do this to me...

Perfect.

You have been so wonderful recently. And I truly hope you can keep it up, my beloved one. You are the most precious thing I ever owned. I will treasure you till the end of time...

I love you so much. I cannot explain it any longer. The love I have for you is immense. It is too deep; beyond description. I am so amazed by your transition. It is radical, baby. Wow. I am like whoa...

You finally listened to me. You finally stopped being harsh. You finally stopped hurting me. You finally stopped doing things I hate. You are now officially flawless !

Killer.

I could not recognize those cold words coming out of your mouth. Each time you try to convince me that it will all be okay once I give it in to you, I know that you are not the man I have loved...

I do not know why you are treating me like dirt. I am truly baffled that this is you. I just realize for real that you do not respect nor care for me the way you said you would. Why must you back down? Why can't you be a man and look at me in the eye and say that you don't like what we have done?

I thought I have done enough for you. But, apparently enough is never enough for you, my dear. I am so afraid of you now. I am wondering if this is all a big mistake ):

I never knew loving you can have so much complications. I never want to hate you. Please stop making me hate you. I really do not want to. But, you just keep asking. I feel so hurt doing this. I am still pondering what it is that is holding me back from leaving you...

Let me love you. Please. Do not give in to your lustful desires. Be strong like you said you would...

Fear Itself.

I love you...

Those 3 words have been coming out of my mouth. But hey, I do not mind a single bit. Cus, I truly love you, babe. You are just the best thing in my life. You are my everything. And dang, I can tell that you really mean it when you say that I am your all as well...

You are just so perfect. I am so fucking lucky to have you as my own, hon. You just sooo sweet. And heck, I think I am diabetic from your sweet kisses. Haha, I just sound so cliched. Fuck...

Anyways, I just wanna post it here that I truly, madly, deeply love you...

Do You Believe In God?

Find me a God that is worth praying to...

Talking bout how shitty my life is sounds rather selfish. Well, fine then. I see people suffering in this world. I see kids dying out of starvation. These fragile ones are sold all over the world as sex slaves. Even the Earth is suffocating on our attempt of being successful creatures alive in it. The ocean critters die. Beaches are nevertheless clean. And I think I can just go on non-stop bout how bad life is on Earth right now...

Where is God when He is supposed to be looking out for us? Where is The Only One when we are suffering here on earth? Where is God when I needed him most?

Then again, it is always oh so easy for me and anyone else to blame Him for everything that had went wrong in our lives. People. Tsk-tsk. Of all animals, Man are the most cruel. They even inflict pain on themselves and actually relishing on it...

I did all that I could to be a good child. But, this is never good enough for that stupid whore. She forces me to do things her way. She never bother to spare a caring thought for my feelings. She breathes to bring me down. She lives to discriminate me. Who the fuck does she think she is? She is just another human being. Like me...

She makes me hate her so fucking much. I never wanted things to be this way. But, she chose to act like this. What am I to do? Seems like I can never live up to any of her mother fucking dumb expectations, if there even existed one in the darn place...

I just wanna kill her. Again. And again. Why must she be my kin?

I have so much anger and hatred within me. Why? I hate this feeling. I feel so demented. I sound so diabolical. Am I sick inside? I hope not. Well, I do not know. I want to end this fucked phase of being a teenager. However, she puts the blame on me all the fucking time. She does alot of awful things, and she blames me for everything...

She is just insane. And I truly hate her. She abuses her authority of being a mother. She went too far. This is the last straw. And hey, just so you know, I never liked you too!!! I will never respect you nor care bout you. You can just mother fucking rot in my elite face and I can still hum my favorite song...