Thursday, January 15, 2009

Tattooed.

I think you should know that you will always be in my mind. Oh, how I wish you can have one last breath to see this...

I will not miss you for you are not gone for even a whole minute. I will not cry over this for you are much happier by now. All I gotta do is shut my eyes. And I see you. I see all of you, baby. I see you being healthy right before me. I see you, baby. I can. As painful as this sounds, I have comfort in knowing that you are in a better place by now. Without me. Without me taking care of you. Without me feeding you. Without me protecting you. Without me bothering about you. Without me playing with you. Without me looking out for you...

I just wanna take back those misspent days. And I wish I can take back those painful words I have said. I wanna hold you again. I thought I can end your pain. All I need is I one last minute, to look at you in the eye and say just how much I love you and that having you is the best thing that has ever occurred to me...

I am sorry for all the pain I caused. I am sorry the apology cannot be better. I am sorry that I did not do my part in healing you. I am sorry...

Just know that I will always love you. And no matter where you are, you will always be a part of me. My heart belongs to you, my little darling. Please take care of yourself, now that I can no longer be there with you...

P.S: IF THERE WAS A GOD, WHY HAS HE LET YOU DIE?

Left Behind.

I will never keep your memory vague...

It kills me to place you in that casket, lowering it to the ground. I am certain by now you are in a better place where you can no longer feel pain, my little darling. I wish I can stay by your side, throughout the cold night to keep you company, like how you would do for me...

Like I have said, you will never be missed for you are always right here, safely kept in my heart. I am sorry that I left you by your side down there. Just remember that I will always love you...

P.S: YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Precious Feeling.

I love you. There is nothing better to hear you whisper those three words to my ear, baby...

I just want you for the rest of my life. I wanna grow old with you. I wanna die in your arms. Your heart is the only place I call Home. Your arms is the only place I depict Heaven. You are simply everything to me. Loving you is the best thing I can do. I have never knew this hidden talent of mine. Thank you for unravelling it for me, sweetheart. You are so thoughtful. As always. Just like I love you to. You take my breath away. You never fail to. Oh gosh...

I am so madly into you. I am hard on over you, baby. What have you done to me?

P.S: LOVE WILL SEE US THROUGH IN DEATH

Friday, December 26, 2008

Me Inside.

Let go of me. I can run...

Can you shut the fuck up? Can't you see that I just can't hear you? There are so many voices in my head. I don't know where they came from or how they got there. They sound so troubled. Screeching in pain. Pitching in sorrow. So many voices, yet they all sound like me. Simply trapped inside. As always...

Can you stop breathing down on my neck? Can't you see that I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders? It's heavy enough already. I don't need you to make me unstable now. I just got my feet back on the ground. Stop trying to make me sway, cus it ain't gonna happen...

Can you leave me alone? I'm troubled enough already. So many lies keep swirling around me. It's trying to kill my oxygen with the cruel intention to suffocate me further besides its sick nature. God-damned creatures like you...

P.S: STOP CHANGING ME. I WON'T CONFORM TO YOU!!!

Purity.

I am on the verge of drastic ways. I just wanna pack my things, dreams and heart in my suitcase and walk out of that door, with my hand in yours...

I wanna be in a place where no one knows our names. I wanna go to some place safe. I wanna go to a place where I do not know what Pain and Sorrow are. I wanna go somewhere where Love is more than just your name, my dear. I wanna build our lives from then on. Nobody left to hold us down. Nobody left. Nobody...

Air is poison here. My lungs hurt from breathing. What is breathing supposed to do? It makes no difference to me. I am dead in any case...

They are truly unbelievable. Disgusting. Ruthless. Sick. Twisted. Conniving. Deceitful. Cheap. Low-life. Pathetic. Worthless. Meaningless. Insignificant. Filthy. Rotten. Wasted. Merciless. Hurtful. Antagonizing. Provokers. And all of the other putrid words that are not found in a happy person's vocabulary...

I am just sick and tired of them. As always. Thankfully, I have you, my dearest to keep me going on. You are just the greatest. I will love you forever and more, Honey.

P.S: I AM DONE HEALING, FUCKERS!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dirty Lil' Soul-Frigger.

You are the biggest mother fucker I have ever met. You are always in denial. Nobody can correct you for you think you are far more superior than anyone. You fucking cheesedick. What the fuck was God thinking when he created you? I bet he was not sober...

You are so full of filth. You dirty soul-digger. You are putrid. Every part of you looks like food to the Lucifer. I suppose everyone has a guardian angel. And yours is Lucifer...

P.S: BURN IN HELL, YOU FUCKING WHORE!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Supposedly.

Suppose you see me on the floor covered in my own blood one night. Suppose you see me standing on the ledge on the tallest building. Suppose you see me lying in the middle of the highway. Suppose you see me walk to a moving car. Suppose I die. What would you do?

The ragged edges of my broken bones are turning to dust. It seems like I cannot be fixed anymore. How on earth have I gotten so fragile? The bruises on my hands are turning purple now. I appear alienic. I just don't think I know myself anymore...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sick.

Stop pretending to be a saint. Stop pretending you do not hate me. Stop pretending you care. Stop pretending to be God. Stop pretending to do your job as a parent. Stop pretending to bother bout me. Stop pretending you are giving me fullest support. Stop it. Just stop pretending...

Your mask has fallen. Your disguise has faded. Your walls have crumbled. You are so disgusting. Just like your good-for-nothing son. The two of you deserve each other. I cannot stand the sight of you. You are the sickest person I ever met. The funny thing is you do not even know that I knew...

P.S: I HATE YOU BITCHES!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Silhouette I Was.

I have never knew the meaning of Happiness till you carve a smile on my lips. I have never knew the meaning of Life till you breathe into me. I have never knew the meaning of Freedom till you give me wings and let me fly. I have never knew the meaning of Care till you carried the weight of the world off of my shoulders. I have never knew the meaning of Comfort and Security till you hold me tightly in your arms. I have never knew the meaning of Love till you kiss me...

I cannot think of anyone better to share this wonderful feelings with but you, my dear. You are more than a man. More than anything in this world. You are one of a kind. And I love you with all my heart. I wanna give my last breath to you. I wanna give my hand to you for a whole lifetime. I wanna grow old with you. I wanna die in your arms, darling...

Sure there are times when I feel hurt by you. Sure there are times when you feel hurt by me. Sure there are times when I feel neglected by you. Sure there are times when you feel neglected by me. But hey, it is the eternal flame in our hearts that matters most...

P.S: I WANNA MARRY YOU.

Just Maybe.

I closed my eyes. I saw you. My mouth kept shut. I screamed at the top of my lungs. But, you refused to listen...

*Sigh*

When will it be time for you to grow up? When will it be time for you to understand? When will it be time for you to learn? When will it be time for you to realize? When will it be for you to open your eyes? When will it?

Maybe after I walk out of that door, you would. Maybe after I turn my back, you could. Maybe. Just maybe...