I Hate This Part.

Each time I think things cannot be any worse, reality surprises me...

I have been living in denial thinking that things will be alright between us. Maybe I did so to comfort myself who has been going through countless and endless agony from all the places that I have been. I tell myself that you are always with me when in fact I have been alone all along. I tell myself that you love me when in fact I know you hate me. I tell myself that you got my back when in fact you are just waiting to watch me fall face down in the dirt. I tell myself you care a lot bout me when in fact you keep hurting me with tremendous dosage of emotional abuse. I tell myself that you are just angry at me when in fact you get mean because you are tired of me. I tell myself to be nicer to you when in fact I am adding more pain for me...

I guess I am the stupidest girl on earth, thinking that you could drown my pain away. I thought I could depend on you. I thought you could give me happiness. I thought you could be nice to me. I thought you could comfort me. I thought you could be mine. I thought we could last. I thought you could be the one for me. I thought you could end my pain. I thought I was special. I thought we were all supposed to be. I thought I could grow old with you. I thought I could walk down the aisle with you. I thought wrong...

I was everything to you. I was the world for you. I was the girl made for you. I was the one destined to be yours. I was the one who made you elated. I was the one who helped you. I was the one who was standing in the rain when I gave you my umbrella. I was the one who was burnt my the sun when I let you have shade under the tree. I was the one who was broken when I tried to protect you from any harm. I was the one bleeding when I tried defending you. I was the one who stood by your side. I was the one who gave my heart and soul to you. I was the one who patched the holes in your heart. I was the one who ended your pain. I was the one who gave you strength. I was the one who gave you the world. I was...

However, just know that I will never forget you, my best friend. I will not erase those good times that we shared. I will not shed the beauty of being able to stare into your eyes. I will not let go of the smiles you flashed me. I will not remove the joy I used to feel when we were together. You are still the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the one that showed me a whole new world that I had never discovered. Thank you for all that you have done. You are truly the greatest joy I had ever known. It is amazing how much happiness I could experience from you. I will treasure what we have went through be it good or bad. You are really one of God's best creations, my dear. I know I will miss you greatly );

P.S: I WAS YOUR HEART & YOU ARE MY BLOOD.