Two Faced.

I am starting to realize my mistake. I fear it to be grave. I know I had asked for all of this. But always? No. I don't think do. You should be blamed for my tears that keep falling down my face. You have to bear the shame for my blood that is flowing out of my hands :(

You looked straight into my eyes and promised me the world. Wow...How you blew me away...And I thought that was how Love was suppose to feel. Hell. I'm so wrong. I feel so deceived for all the things you had promised to me. How will I know you're being true to me? How will I know you're being you and that I'm loving the right guy?

How can I trust you when you tell me different stories all the time? I'm so disappointed in you. You managed to hurt me best. I'm overtly impressed by your words. You're getting as cold as death and I'm beginning to feel a wall everytime I try to reach for your hands. Am I imagining things? I doubt it. It is real. This time. It is real...

Why am I falling down so far away from Help? Now, I can barely see the sky. My clarity has been blocked. And now I am engulfed in utter darkness. I fucking cared too much for you. You just seem to be throwing all of it away, like free money to richest people in the world. Now, things seem to back fire. You're starting to push your finger into my opened wounds. Why are you starting to be this way? You're not the man I used to know. I used to love... ):

Under The Oak Tree.

Seashells are plenty. They may not be in sight. Some are just below the surface, just like the agony that has been living under my skin. And some are trapped deep below the vast sand. Hidden. Completely unnoticed. Perhaps assumed gone...

But I know I had tried hardest. That is why I had found him. Gladly. I dug as much as I could. My blood, sweat and tears are all paying off now. And I love him.

The rarest breed. The one in a million. The shinniest diamond that has ever been discovered is wrapped around in my fingers. And hell. I will take good care of it. The way I have always been over the years...

For One More Day.

He may seem so strong on the outside. He may seem so tough in his words. But, this is just a facade. He is just a little boy who deserves the love he should be receiving after all the years that have waste him.

Impulsiveness got the best of me one night. I almost let his world caved in. I didn't know what I was thinking. Everything but straight. I was all messed up. I jumped into ugly conclusions and hypothetically I fired him with false accusations. Any reasons that were given to me were like bullets missing the target that was on my face.

I took a few steps back. I realized you're such an impeccable piece masterpiece. The ingenius art of God. I love you. No matter the strength of the turbulence that may hit us, I will be standing here, waiting for you to come running into my arms for safety.

People will never understand us. They actually can if they want to. Sadly, they chose not to. And I don't give a shit to that. We don't have to tell anyone what Fate has in stored for us in the future. They only hold us down. Anchors. Tsk-tsk. I hate them...

Take Your Pain & Shove It Up Your Asshole.

Don't bother bitching to me bout how much I've let you down. Don't bother complaining bout how much I've hurt you. Cus the day will come where you'd be on your knees begging for Mercy that I shall not pardon...

You can get the fuck out of my face. You gotta hang around, trying your best to infect me with your disease. Well news flash honey, I won't be plagued!!!

Do whatever you have to. I can't give a damn. Come in my way and die. I will break you. I swear I will. Watch me, bitch...

Apologize.

Cruel intentions run through my mind. I should not be thinking like this even. Why?

Never expected myself to be blinded. But fuck . I am. I hate it. What should I do now that my sight is gone? My sanity abandoned me too ): Why oh why must you do this to me? How can you over react and began to lose yourself? ):

I hate you when you do these things to me. I don't deserve this. If this were to continue, which it had everytime we quarrel, I don't know what else I should do. I don't wanna leave you. Please don't tempt me.

As much as I try to vision you as impeccable as the angels above us, I can't. I know I got my flaws too. But I don't use this as an excuse to behave in the manner that you do, right?

I am so disappointed in you. As I drown in my sorrow, I'd think bout if all this were a big mistake in the first place )':

Numbing Your Karma.

So another day passed me by. Yet, there is no difference cus I am still wishing I can die. No matter what I do, people try to pry my heart open and break my shell. There goes my wishful thinkings, right out of the window...

All along I tried playing their game. I assumed to like them. But hell, what good will it do?

Seemed like imposing reverse psychology would not work out. So I suppose I gotta think of new ways to turn the tables round. It is just a matter of time they will be kissing my ass. Cheap dicks... I hate you guys.

At Least I Know I Am A Sinner.

Leave me alone. Get the fuck out of my face, you creep!

I'm so sick of what you want me to do. I'm so tired of giving in to you. I'm so effed up of tying to please you. You're one hell of a mother fucker, do you know this? God damn. I hate you so fucking much.

I'm so thankful for being imperfectly perfect. And hey, at least I'm aware I'm a sinner. How bout you? You think you got the world revolving around you. You're such a freak. You think you're superior. You're so complacent, you fool. I had enough of taking in your bullshit.

Everything is NOT said and done. Stop turning your back to me, cus it's my turn to speak now, you bitch. I feel so sorry for you. I'm so fucking annoyed with you. Gee, when the fuck will you change? You're so horrible, just like the rest.

To think I needed time to distinguish you among the rest. God...Why must you do this to me? When will this end?! ARGH!!!

Farewell.

Nona nona. Be thankful I'm dedicating something for you here. This shall be my one and for all for you, Missy. Be glad that at least someone is doing something for you. You're like so pathetic.

And hey, everyone is a hypocrite. It is just a matter of how much of hypocrisy is being revealed before you can even identify it is hypocrisy. You're so naive, do you know that? I don't care what the fuck you had went through. I had enough with you. By the way, do you even know what friendship means?

Come to think of it, maybe I had the heart to be friends with you cus I pitied you. I did it out of sympathy. Look around you for Fuck's sake. All the people you acknowledged as friends fucking back stabbed you and left you in the lurch. But I knew I didn't do that to you. I had always stood beside you, but you seemed to be taking advantage of my trusted heart.

People like you don't deserved to be nice at. You so don't deserve my attention. Fuck. I wasted 4 years on you. I'm so stupid. Why did I bother? ):

Silly silly me, I must say. You're meant to be a loner, Nona. If you're gonna continue treating people who really care for you the way you treat me, you might as well dig a hole to hide your shame. Cus I find you disgusting. You're so worthless.

Forget it. I ain't gonna brood over it. You have a good life. And hell yeah, I mother-fucking know I'm the best...God damned you. Wait, you have already been damned. I regret being friends with you. It is fine. I know who you are now. And I hate you, friend ):

P.S: You're such a loser. Start living with it.

Jump.

I'm glad that we're two sides of one beating heart. Life is so good when we know nothing can tear us apart...

We have been through alot; with or without each other. It doesn't feel like it has been months we have been together. I know how I had lived my life straight back then before knowing you. If we were to turn back time, I would prolly paint a portrait of an angel with my eyes closed. It would be easy to do cus I love you.

I will sleep with a smile plastered on my face. I will sleep with beautiful dreams invading my resting head. I will sleep with perfect visions of us holding hands.

It is wrong to describe just how happy I am now. Words really cannot explain this feeling I am feeling deep inside of me. I am lost of words...

There For You.

I wish to be someone that you can always come to...

As I wipe the bloodied tears off my cheeks, I think of you. As I pick myself from the floor, I think of you. As I fight my fears, I think of you. As I sleep, I think you. No matter what happens to me, I think of you only...

And I swear...Come what may. I will be there for you just as strong as you can for me. I will be there for you when you're petriefied. I will be there for you when you're happy. I will be there for you when you're broken. I will be there for you when you're abandoned...

Never ever say you're abandoned. Cus I had found you. Never ever say you're lonely. Cus I have always been by your side. Never ever say you're scared. Cus I had fought all of your fears. Never ever say you'd lose me one day. Cus I had given my whole self to you.

Look at your hand. Tell me what do you see. Isn't that my beating heart?

I have so much more to give. Just give me time. Give us time. Everything will be better. Everybody can tell us this is wrong. But we both know what we are doing. So we will prove them. Prove to the world just how much we need each other.

And I love you. Till the end of time...

Friend Or Foe.

Friends. What does that mean?

Are they ones that I'm supposed to hold onto throught the good and the bad? Are they the ones that I'm supposed to turn to for help? Are they the ones to cheer me up when I'm feeling lousy? Are they the ones to lead me to the right direction? Are they the ones I'm supposed to put hopes in? Are they the ones I'm supposed to trust?

Or are they to leave me in the lurch? Or are they to abandon me in times of hardship? Or are they to just come and go anytime they please? Or are they to disappoint me with pretense and empty promises?

I grow old as days pass me by. Maturity accompanies me. Now I am wise enough to see what lies before my very eyes...

This isn't any jealousy statement. This is a confession of certain people I had assumed as friends. Now what does that really mean? Names will not be mentioned here. I am aware they visit my page without my knowledge. Hence, precautions shall be taken...

However, bottomline is that it is time for me to toughen up and move on. I wanna leave you guys behind and thanks for acting like you cared. Thanks for wasting your time on me over the years. Thanks for making me believe you are really my good friends; even soul sisters. Gosh...I feel so stupid and cheated. God-damn you people; with every pun intended...