Thursday, June 26, 2008

Better In Time.

Lies swirled around me. Almost in obvious attempt to asphyxiate me. Purposely. My view blurred. Thousand and one thoughts contradicted each other in my cloudy head. I tried to breathe. But, there was no air. My lungs dried. My heart stopped beating. I grew still...

I am so depressed now. Why do you keep pushing your finger in my opened wounds? Isn't it clear enough to you that my wounds are too sore to heal now? My scars can never fade even with the matter of time...

I cannot believe the man I truly love have to hurt me to this extent. I thought you can be the one for me. I thought you can be there for me. I thought you can take good care of me. I thought you can guide me. And I thought you can love me )':

I am completely engulfed by your attitude. Your immense wrath. Your intense tension. You are everything that I fear. You are such a nightmare!

I do not want to be with you anymore. I feel more hurt when I am with you then when I am not. I feel worst of my being whenever you are around me.

Being headstrong has it falls. I tried my best to stick with you. I tried my best to forgive you. But, you repeat your wrongdoings in just overnight, babe. This cannot carry on. I am just a small girl trying to choose my path but you just have to mess me up. All the mother fucking time. I feel so stupid right now.

I bully myself more than you do to me. I kill myself whenever you hurt me. I feel stupid when you scold me. I feel so lousy. Gawd. Why must things go so awry?!!!

I am oh so confused right now. I do not know what to do. I am ever ready to pack my bag and walk out through that door where I know my days have the sunshine and my nights have the stars. Love is never suppose to hurt. I am not meant to bleed for you. I am not to fall at all. However, there is just something holding me back from doing so....

Is it cus I love you way too much than you ever do for me? )':
Is there anybody out there who can save me?

Different.

It is obvious now that everyone, no matter how dear my heart held them close, they still hurt me...

It is absolutely unbelievable that you hurt me so much. Over and over again. I do not understand what I had done to deserve this hell that you are putting me through. I cannot trust you anymore. I had just lost faith in myself...

I thought you said you love me so much. Then if so, can you stop breaking my heart by being so cold and awfully mean to me? I thought you said you care alot for me. Then if so, can you please end the misery that you are putting me through? I thought you said you will always be there for me. Then if so, can you start being the man that I love initally?

You are extremely childish. I am baffeled by the kid in you. You always allow your heart to rule your head. Please end this shit...

You just have to do this to me...