Far Behind.

Am I emotionally drained?

Maybe it is my fault. I love you too much. I nurture you far too long. I care for you too deeply. I bother about you more than myself. I treasure you more than Life. I hold onto you far too tightly and now I end up hurting myself. You are right. As always. I need to stop blaming you. I really should. I am feeling this way cause of my own actions. I deserve all the blood shed. I deserve all the pain felt. I deserve all the tears cried. I deserve all the time alone. I deserve all the moments in the ashes...

I guess I am born to be this way. I am not supposed to know what Happiness is all about. I am not meant to understand what true Love is. I am not to near the Garden of Eden. I am not to do a lot of things. And perhaps loving somebody was one of them...

Higinia.

Things are just not the same anymore...

I am doing my best to patch the holes that I see. Let me do that. I am doing my best to pick up the pieces that I left behind. Help me do that. I am doing my best to make it through the day. Let me do that. I am doing my best to stop bleeding. Help me do that. I am doing my best to be happy. Let me do that. I am doing my best to help you. Help me do that. I am doing my best to breathe. Let me do that. I am doing my best to care for you. Help me do that. I am doing my best to hold onto you. Let me do that. I am doing my best to love you. Help me do that...

Why must you, of all people, hurt me too?

Yes. You do carry the world for me. But hey, the weight is on my shoulders. You have my heart in your hands. But hey, the breath is out of me. You took my hand. But hey, the sorrow is deepening within me. Do you know that when you hurt me I die? This is because you are the only one that I got and you just have to knife me from behind...

I should have known better. After all, you are still just another human being...

P.S: I WILL NOT BE AS NICE AS I WAS TO YOU CAUSE YOU DO NOT FUCKING DESERVE IT.