Truth of Your Deception.

I am literally on the verge of utter chaos and suicide...

I need to get out of this sticky mess that I had gotten into. No pun intended on that word "sticky". I hate my life so much. I hate everyone around me. I hate them hate them hate them!!!

The worst part of it all is that no one can help me. The only joy I once knew had ditched me. The only true meaning of Life abandoned me. I am naked once again. Falling down since the day I have seen the white light from the doctor's room. I have been down for so long...

I have jumped from the tallest infrastructure ever. There is no landing at all. I have fallen over and over. But, I still get to pick myself up. This time, it just HAD to be different...

I do not trust them a single bit. They backstabbed me. Pussies. Words of wisdom came out of their mouths, but they could never comprehend what they meant. Love...What is love?

I know no love. I feel no exuberance. I see no light. I recognize death. I am so weak. Even though it has been such a long time, I am still picking up the remains of my shattered hopes and dreams. Damn. There are a whole lot more to go...

Hazardous.

A wave of nausea runs through my veins. Once again, I am all over the place. Nothing is the same everyday. It is clear to me that I can never trust anyone else. Even me. Apparently, I am my own enemy. I am so disgusted by my own being...

I hate everything around me. The people I look up to just appear as mean as the demons in my sleep. I am not me at all. I do not know who to turn to right now. I am certain as hell I only got my soul to get my through the fucking day....

You are never there when I needed you most. You are never there when I needed someone to talk to. You can never be there when I needed someone to hold onto. You shrug me off, like the piling dust on your shoulder. You treat me like shit. You are no better than the rest of them. In fact, you are just like them...

I really hate to stereotype you. But, you simply hurt me every single time I need to hear me. You put words in my mouth. You intentionally have to blatantly accuse me. You just have to make me cry. You put me through so many emotions...

Perhaps it is the knowledge of knowing that I can never be apart from you. You seem to be relishing on that fact and hence, taking maximum advantage of the fucking situation. You are so pathetic without me. Your ego is way bigger than your love for me....

Everywhere I go, my problems seem to stick with me. They keep coming back for more. Why me? Why? Why? Why?

You are supposed to make things better. Make me better at least. I need a cure for this disease. I hate what I am going through right now. It is so painful. I am on the verge of destruction. Maybe suicidal is not so bad after all...

Love Me Or Hate Me.

No. You do not mother fucking love me....

Everyone knows that. Why can't you see you live to bring me down? You got nothing better to do beside making me miserable? You are worthless. I will never care nor bother bout you any longer....

Oh, how I wish you just die right now. You are the worst creature ever made. God must have been drunk when he did you. You put the blame all to Him. You brought injustice upon yourself. Spare a moment. Think, you stupid bitch. Think...

It is not bout religion. It is not bout God. It is not bout faith. It is not bout love. It is not bout trust. It is not bout hate. It is all bout logic, which you lack off by far apparently...

I hate you so much. The hatred is so immense. I cannot explain it. I really do not wish to be this way to you. But, you have left me with no choice. And when I have the bloody pitchfork in my hands, then you know who is God...

Demonology.

I am not me...

I am utterly engulfed by confusion. Paranoia messes my head. My mind is going hazy. Everything seems to be in a blur. I never thought Life could be such a bitch. I suppose it is just living up to its renowned reputation...

All the things I hate revolve around me. The more I hide, the harder it gets to breathe. I am suffocating under words of sorrow. I hate my life right now. I want to die...

I am trying so very hard to be strong for me. I am fighting with the thousand and one thoughts that keep contradicting one another at the back of my mind. I am so weak. I am withered. Life has wasted me. Temptations to hold onto the razor by my veins are so tough to fight. I cannot fend it off. Day and night, I see myself dying. In various sadistic methods....

You are the reason why I am like this. I do not intend to stay this way forever. Can anybody out there help me out?

My wounds can never heal in time. My voice is gone. My hope is crushed. My dreams lie to me. I cannot trust myself anymore. I have no one to cure this plague that I have within me. It is killing me...

I feel like I have betrayed myself. I have let myself down. I am a failure to me. I am hopeless. A goner for the soul within me. Though they may have my soul, they can never have my spirit...

I can never look at them the same anymore. They are twisted. God's damned creations are living with me. I am stuck with them. But, for now....

P.S: I HATE YOU.

Demolition Lovers.

The day that the world has been waiting has finally touched our lives...

Reality came onto me. It was bitter. It was cold. Biting cold. I refused to believe what was going on. It was as if my fears were taking their tolls on me. Alas. Perhaps it was time to brace myself. That was the only way I could notice your face...

Family. The only word that confuses me. It sounds so delirious. Frightening. Depressing. Dolorous. And all of the negative words that any human being can think of to describe that brutal word...

You guys are a bunch of jokes. Too bad I cannot stay long to laugh at you..

You Are My Beautiful Mistake.

I really want to end it once and for all. But, there is just something, a certain something, that is pulling me back....

Is it the beautiful memories that we have made along the way? Or is it the amzing moments we have spent together? Or is it due to fear of losing you and what life would be from then on?

How did we come to this? Things have gotten so ugly now. I refuse to believe reality. It appears that the sun has decided to abandon me. It seems like the moon does not want to my friend. It looks like the stars have ditched me...

I find myself like a fool. Utterly confused. Uncertain of my steps, leading me to nowhere. I am actually starting to regret being with you. Wow. I am extremely shocked. I am asphyxiating under sorrow. God...

I really love you. Please do not do this to me. I want to be with you. Do not provoke me. I really want to take care of you and grow old with you, my love. Please say you will do the same for me.