Black Rose Dying.

Have I made a decision to only allow myself be engulfed in utter misery?

My world with you has caved in. This time for real. I have lost everything. I guess it should be time that I admit my defeat. I do not know where is the safest place anymore. I do not know what Happiness feel like anymore. I do not know who has got my back. I do not know who to trust anymore. I just lost a part of me...

I got no idea how I am suppose to feel. What have I done again? I am so messed up right now. I need a way out of this. The disease has infected my brain. I cannot remove it out of my bloodstream. It has crept through me faster than I thought. I am so sick. I am tired. I have withered...

I got my hopes up all the time only to know they will be crushed one by one right before my very eyes. My heart was held high only to know you were going to break it into a million pieces. I was overprotected in your arms only to know that you were intending to crush my bones...

What would it take for me to realize that I can breathe?

P.S: I AM CONFUSED BY YOU. YOU GOT ME GOOD...

Let The Flames.

I wanna gather each and every one of you in the circle I have made with salt. I will place you within the star so I can achieve my star. I shall pour kerosene all over. Yes. I lie. I am not supposed to do this. And you cannot budge cus you are standing on quick sand. Soon enough, you are sinking. I can see that you are drowning in my pain as you are screaming for Mercy. Nice try. But, not good enough. I light the match and threw it at your face that has been soaked in kerosene...

I cannot trust anyone anymore. Especially the one I once thought could protect me from the demons that exist in my reality. She was everything to me. She was one of the most important people in my life that I really cared about. She was what I thought perfection was all about...Until I got slapped in the face with my eyes closed...

She is just like all the rest. She is no better than the demons in my sleep. She is an animal. She embraces brutality and relishes on hurting me. She is a motherfucker and I truly hate her now...

I realize that I have myself to depend on, besides having the love of my life by my side always. I will show them all what he means to me. I will fight to the end. I will defend. I will prove them all with the scars on me that he is my one and only guardian angel and he is the one that I love with all my heart...

Damn. I love him more than I love them. Much, much more. He is so different than them and that is why I love him. I know I sound ungrateful and what-not. But, I guess that is life. I cannot get the best of both worlds. I have to win some, lose some...

Way Back Into Love.

If only I knew I was going to be this happy, I would have ran into your arms much more sooner...

I cannot find anybody out here to understand what I am talking about. Nobody can feel the way I feel. But, I do not care. What matters most is how you can speak to my heart. No one is like you, baby. They cannot do me better than you. I am willing to throw everything and everyone out of my life so that I can have more space to build new memories with you, honey...

You whisper in my ear so that only I can hear what you have to say to me. We do not need anyone to hold us down. Give me time, darling. I promise I will take you to a place where no one knows our name. And we will build our lives there. We do not need anyone around us as they only hold us down...

Bleeding Love.

My eyes are stinging me. I can barely open them. They hurt so much. I wipe my tears off of my cheek, thinking they were just salty water. Little did I know I have began to shed tears of blood...

My soul is in immense pain. I need to get out of this. I keep bleeding everywhere, inside out. This is bad. Really bad. I got no idea how awful things have gotten. I hate everything around me. I cannot trust anyone here at home. They are all putting on masks and behind those masks are God's most damned creations ever known to mankind...

I am so afraid of my baby leaving me. I love him so much and I would never hold it against him if he were to walk away from me as he got every right to. I have caused to much harm to him. I am just a loser. I have to hurt so many people. Why?

I just hope things get better. This is an illness and I need to get out of this...Fast...

Rumors.

How fucking stupid do you think I am? Hey loser, you do not even know how to cover your tracks when you wanna keep tabs on me? Tsk-tsk...

I motherfucking hate you for the rest of my life. You can bet on this. You think you are portraying your love for me and you are trying to look out for me. Oh, you piece of shit. I cannot stand your hypocrisy and ignorance. You fucking disgust me!!

Who the fuck do you think you are? You are just like all the rest. We may be of the same blood but mine can never run the same as yours, you beast. Do you think that you are very smart? Hey punk wannabe, practise what the fuck you love to preach to my face : Everytime you think you are smart, there is always someone smarter than you...

I cannot stand the sight of you. You are worst than the devil himself. You are similar to the demons in my sleep. I hate you before. I hate you now. I hate you forever. I will make sure I forget your name...

I would love to kick you even though you are lower than the lowest dog!!! But see, I never cus I am not as pathetic as you. Start kissing my ring, you motherfucker. It is my time to shine now...

Whole Again.

I have metamorphosized into a beautiful young woman. I have a beating heart in me. I have the ability to breathe again...

I am all that I am today thanks to you, baby. You are truly god sent. I can be myself and only you can see that in me. You believe in me. This is one of the thousands of reasons as to why I love you with all my heart...

You bring out the best in me. I see myself the way you see me. You back me up everytime I was about to fall. You tighten your grip on me as you think I am going to slip. You went the extra mile just to capture my golden smile. You gave me wings and I began to fly, my Love...

I really do not give a fuck to what anyone has to say bout you and I when they do not know shit bout us. They love to play God and judge us. How disgusting!

All I know is you are one in a trillion and you are the most precious and special thing in my life. I have so much pride in owning you and being owned by you. Thank you for loving me, baby...

Supernatural.

There is no one like you even though there is a cliched saying of everybody is just the same...

You are the best thing in my life. I never knew that I was going to love you to this extent. But, I am. And I love this. You are just so perfect for me. Wow. You can take my breath away by just glimpse of beautiful you, baby...

I never felt this way before. Everytime you kiss me, you got me hypnotized. Everythim you hug me, you got me mesmerized. Everytime you stare into my eyes, you got me...

You are so wonderful and outstanding. I really do not know what I have done to earn you. You love me so much and I love you the way you are. I can spend a whole lifetime literally saying just how much we love each other. We are so high and we rock the world, baby!

Ever since we got together, nothing became impossible. I managed to do things I thought I could not do. I became so powerful and I became unstoppable. Thank you...

Thank you for everything that you have done for me, sweetheart. I love you so much. We will always be as one. Nobody can come between you and I. MWAH!!!

You Eclipsed By Me.

What would it take for you to see just how bloody stupid you look right now?

I have no idea what the fuck you are trying to prove nor achieve. You are so overtly pathetic and I fucking hate you so much. You got the guts to be tearful bout this when it had been you all along to burn yourself as you play this game of fire. You dumb bitch...

Which part of leaving me alone do you not get? Which part of fucking out of my face do you not understand? You gormless piece of shit. Sight of you disgusts me. You irksome human being. Are you even one in the first place?

Stop forcing things that you want down my fucking throat before I take them and stuff it up your ass. Hey, if you are not happy with me, tell it to my fucking face. Or you can shove it up your asshole. I am sure it is big enough for you to stuff a lifetime's worth of agony...

You are such a monster. I will always hate you. So you need not worry much. The only change that will happen is that I will continue to hate you more and more as days pass me by. You whore...

I will never let go of him. So you better live with it. I will always love him. So you better start a new phase. I will always be fighting for him. So you better dig your own grave...

Pieces That Made Eden.

Sometimes Life moves so fast till I tend to forget the best thing I have in life and that I am still alive. Times like these remind me to take a step back, or a few to admire the beauty of this masterpiece God has painted of you...

Nothing can be greater than the comfort of your embrace. Nothing can be compared to your love for me. Nothing can be better than being kissed by you. Nothing can be equivalent to warmth of your touch. Nothing can beat you, baby...

I just cannot be without you. I am far more than addicted to you. It is so evident that I have become obsessed with you. Maybe you have hypnotized me with that one kiss that everyone waits a lifetime for. And I got you. All for myself forever....

Whenever you cannot be near, I always think about the precious sweet moments that we have shared. I can never forget the littlest things that you have done for me. They are just oh-so cute and lovely. Just like you, my darling. I keep the tiny pieces of your beautiful yesterdays and I hold onto them till I get to see you again. And when I do, I will place them safely at the back of my mind. For I need to build more space in my head for new and sweeter memories with you. This will never end. It is just like a cycle and it is inevitable...

Fragments of our memories keep me from falling apart. They are one of the many reasons as to why I just cannot get you out of my head even for a split second. I am so hooked onto you. You are my drug. I love being intoxicated by you, baby....

There were the rainy days. But, I always know that before my pretty rainbow can appear, it needs to rain beforehand. I guess, this can reasonably explain why we need bitter times to isolate and clearly distinguish our precious moments that we hold on to dearly...

Just know that I will always love you till the end of time. I am made for you and you are made for me. As cliched as it sounds, I need you and I want you always no matter what. Nothing can lead me astray or tear me apart from you. You are my one and only. Mwah...

God Sent.

Life always has its own mysterious ways to fuck things up for you and I...

Yet no matter how sticky the situation I may be in, you are always around me. Backing me up, without a doubt. Nothing is greater than the comfort of your warm embrace everytime when I am afraid of things that I know or I feel filthy of my being...

The radiance that I can see upon your face tells me that you are more than a man. The brilliance that I can feel deep in my heart bout you reveals to me that you are more than a star. The existence of your being ensures me the fact that I know you are my guardian angel...

No matter what happens, I will fight and defend for you. Even if that means to add more scars on myself. I do not care what people have to say. They do not know a thing about you. Whatever I am today, I do not deserve the glory of owning them. I owe it all to you. Yes. Only you, my sweetest Love from above...

It is just utterly depressing that people cannot see the beauty that I can see in you. Then again, I will not be as special as I am today for you if that were to happen. For better or worst, I will love you with every beat of my heart. You are the only truth that I have ever known...

Do not only take my breath away; take me away as well from this Hell and to our secret. I will never let go of you. You are safely locked in my heart. I gave you my hand and you took it. From that moment, I began to live...

It is always such a wonder how you can make me smile genuinely again. How you can make me laugh over the silliest things. How you can move me and touch me till tears well up in my eyes for you are far too beautiful to be described by words...

You are the reason I believe in Love. You are the answer for my prayers. We do not need anyone else, but us. My dreams came true and it is because of you, my dear one. Nothing can shake me. Nothing can break me. I will give my all just to be with you. I will go to the end of the world to carve a smile on your lips, baby...

I love you...

I am sure the world is jealous of me right now for owning God's most precious gift. You are the only pride I have in owning. I care alot bout you. And I want to be with you for a whole lifetime. I will make sure that happens...

Laments To An Invinsible God.

Please give me all the strength to pull thru...

I really need all the might within myself to make it thru the fall. I am once again trapped in this place I dare not call Home. I have nobody to turn to. Literally. I have to face this one on my own. I do not know how things could have gone so wrong to this extreme extent...

I am staring at Fear in my own eyes as I look into the mirror. I am embracing Agony as I hold onto myself. I am engulfing Sorrow as I breathe...

I have no idea how to be strong. I have no idea how to make things better. All I can do is sit at the edge of my bed, waiting for the death of Today..

P.S: SOMEBODY PLEASE RESCUE ME. I AM FADING AWAY...