Everybody's Fool.

Why must the simplest thing be hardest to get?

All I ever wanted was to stay alive. Breathe in ease. Bleed no more. Run away like the wind. Smile like I truly mean it. A heart that can never die. Yet, the odds of obtaining such simplicity are even higher than begging God for world peace. God. The cruel. The twisted. the conniving. The worst of them all. I thought He was supposed to heal me. I thought He was to strengthen me. Yet, the opposites came along...

My heart is dead. My eyes are swollen. My wrists are bleeding. My tongue is cut. My throat is slashed. My lungs have dried. My bones have broken. My limds are sawed. And I all I have left is memories of you and I in those golden days. Hope is still deep within me of knowing I can carry on forever. Faith still lingers like the ghost of you that we can make it through the night. Love still follows me like a shadow...

Ever Never.

Hiding under the cover creases will not do me any good anymore. Crying my heart out will not do me well anymore. Bleeding to death will not make me feel alive anymore...

If only each breath I exhale can erase my pain. If only each blink I make can cure me. If only each move I take can build me up. If only each tear dropped can strengthen me. If only each prayer done is answered. If only each time I die I get to live again...

I know everyone can see me. They hear me scream. They just watch. Each and everyone of them just stand there. Watching me fall. Watching me bleed. Watching me die. They think it is fun that I get whole and break down everyday and night. Sadistic dickheads...They never care. They never near. They never bother. They never tell the truth. They never love. They never treasure. They never appreciate. They never. Never...

Better Than Me.

I held the gun, trying to defend myself. I ended up shooting myself in the head...

I sat at the corner of the room, hugging my cut knees. Away from all the pieces on the floor. They reflected the light shining down on it all over the room. My feet were badly cut. So were my wrists and cheeks. My tears turned to blood. I could not stand the girl in the mirror. She was too ghastly for my sight and mind to comprehend. There was too much deceit going on. It was over whelming and so I punched my mirror. So many fragments shattered all over the floor. The mirror broke into a million pieces, just like my bones...

Nothing was ever the same. Faith has died. Innocence has been stained. Purity has been astrayed. Love has resorted to Hate...

The moonless sky stared down upon me. It refused to shine some light down on me, guiding me to the right path. Cruelty has gotten the best of it. It was not as if I deserved it, anyways. I knew I had let myself down. I knew I had been doing a truckful of killings that I should not have done in the first place. I knew I am in denial. I knew that I never knew I knew...

P.S: I KILLED THE BEST OF ME...