Measure of a Man.

You still refuse to change. When will you start practising what you preach? Why can't you be good to me?

I find you to be so ignorant to what you have right before you. Have you thought bout life when I'm gone? Have you thought bout life when I won't help you anymore? When I won't care? When I won't love?

You seem so sure that you can't lose me. And one day, it shall be my turn to be sure that I can be gone with just a blink. So please, don't be bad. You're making me hate you. And that's the last thing you'd want me to do to you, my dear ):

Everything That I Will Not Be.

I won't wish you well. You know what you have done to me over the past few years. You kept it a secret to us. Only you and I know bout the shit you had put me thru. Yet, you always live in denial. And I don't know what is your deal.

What do you want from me?

I fucking hate you and your son. I hate both of you. The hatred is so immense, till I can't even recall when it began planting itself into my soul. You are far beyond my comprehension and compassion.

Both of you deserve to die. Faster...

Trapped Within Himself.

I love you with all my heart.

However, something doesn't feel right. I can't tell you, cus my words are cold. I don't want them to hurt you, my dear. I care alot for you. I am empty without having your breath into my mouth. I feel so alone. Lost. Abandoned...

I miss the old you. I love you the way you were. You were so perfect. Flawless. Angelic. I feel so proud to own you and be called yours. Yet, now everything seems to be falling apart. My heart has been broken and hurt far too many times. Thinking bout flying high is silly. Why do I feel burdened though we are together?

Why are you still living in denial? Why can't you open up your eyes and realize how nice I am to you? I feel under-appreciated. I feel deprived of gratitude from you. I am hurt every day. Can you stop it? Please. I can't take it anymore.

My whole body has been twisted and convulsed by Agony. It is hellish here at home. I don't need you to be this way. I thought you could be different. I have tried my best to overlook all of your minor flaws. But, you seem to be taking advantage of the situation. Why my sweetheart? Why are you hurting me so much, day and night?

I am dehydrated. I lost appetite to eat. I can't sleep. I can't think straight. If I were to cry anymore, my eyes will bleed. Please change... Please )':

Can you tell the man I used to love months back that I miss him so much?

Hopes Lie.

Everyone leads me on. Nothing new is going on here. I thought he could make me feel special but I guess I was wrong. Again. And again, nothing new is going on here. Somehow, I feel so predictable...

Life seems so quiet. The sun has faded to grey. Colors have disintegrated further to utter darkness. I am engulfed by Sorrow. Agony has its way to make Misery last longer than expected. Hopes crushed. Dreams broken.

His face is in the distant. Everytime I try to near, he tends to fear. I pictured us and how we were months back. It felt so right. But somehow, not anymore.

Is it just me? Or am I starting to break free?

Mirrored.

Things are never what they promised to be. People add onto my agony. Like I need the pain. Why must the ones I always hold onto tightly hurt me indirectly?

Emotional pain is always the worst kind of torture any human can wish for. It is twisted and demented. Just like the people I know. Why must things always have to be this way? Why can't I have anything nice to say?

I really have enough of cutting myself. Bleeding it out doesn't help a single bit. So, what should I do? Having him is the same as I don't. He doesn't stand out like he used to. He wanna hide from me. Where are the people who have promised me that they got my back?

I turned around but, all I can see are shadows. Moving shadows. Away and away and away...and slowly, they disappear...

Broken Wings.

I vow, so long I'm breathing, so long I'm alive, so long I got blood pumping thru my veins....I shall make sure you will drown in my pain, my sorrow, my blood, my tears, my wrath...

I hate them more and more as days pass me by. I can never look at them the same way as I used to. Creatures. Monsters. Animals...Seems like my worst nightmares are coming to life. What the fuck is going on? Can anybody help me thru this road of despair?

I am numb. Thanks to them. I really fucking hate all of you. Bloody fuckers. Well, you people will be once I have fucking multilate each and every single one of you. Dickheads. I wonder why God brought you to this Earth. Full of nothings and yet, they dare to stand so tall in their own mother-fucking world. This is bullshit.

Joy will come. Tables will be turned. I'd start living again. I don't mind waiting in the shadows for now. I don't mind having brusies for now. I don't mind being left out for now. Things will be much better...Especially the day you die. Assholes...

I curse you to die horribly. I curse you to see the worst in Hell. I curse you to be so hurt. I curse you to be terribly sick and die. I will be there, by your deathbed, pissing at your face. And shrill. In pure happyness.

Believe In Dreams.

Now that's ironic...

I feel like I had betrayed me. The sun went down. I was too little, too late. I deserved it. I still couldn't figure out what the fuck went wrong. I was too full of myself. Complacency led me to my downfall without me noticing it...How stupid of me to have done this!

Somehow I couldn't cry...Was this supposed to be a sign?

Reality startled me by its natural brutality. It smashed my heart, the same painful way as it raped my soul. Engulfed by confusion and disbelief, I still feel numb. Why?

Precious Pearls.

There is nothing in this world can stand between him and I. Let the strongest current crash through us. Let the sharpest knife slice us. Let the worst storm and lightning split us. Let the heaviest rain fall upon us...We will walk through life with our hands wrapped around each other, around the words we had promised to each other ages ago...

I will never change a thing on you. I love you for the way you are and for who you have been all along. I love you. You're no longer in my heart, cus you have become my beating heart. Pumping blood through my dried veins is what you do best, besides breathing in life into my lost soul. You caught me by surprise and I was glad I approached your warm embrace.

The next few years will be hard. Nobody said that life would be easy. However, it doesn't matter how tough the challenges may be cus this time, I got you by my side. I got you to hold onto. I got you to depend on. I got you to turn to. I got you to grab. I got you...

Hit The Floor.

I looked above me and saw the blue sky. Something was amissed however. Where was my Sun? I felt the cold wind blowing through my hair, carressing my skin. But no light was seen. I thought it was fine. Initially...

Sometimes I thought my day could be fine without a single glimpse of sunshine. But that didn't mean I gotta hide. I wasn't expecting perfection. I knew long ago that shit couldn't exist in reality. Except for fairy tales of course. Where the mother fucking god-mothers popped out of nowhere to save the damsel in distress, rather than the Prince Charming to do his duty.

I tried my best to hold my chin up high. But people like you love to drag me down. I could never understand the purpose of your existence. Was it to make my life worthwhile or miserable?

I kept telling myself that I would not die. Day and night, I lived by that prayer. However, lately, it appeared as if I had been praying to a false god. Why? Things weren't like this. So why now? ):

Two Faced.

I am starting to realize my mistake. I fear it to be grave. I know I had asked for all of this. But always? No. I don't think do. You should be blamed for my tears that keep falling down my face. You have to bear the shame for my blood that is flowing out of my hands :(

You looked straight into my eyes and promised me the world. Wow...How you blew me away...And I thought that was how Love was suppose to feel. Hell. I'm so wrong. I feel so deceived for all the things you had promised to me. How will I know you're being true to me? How will I know you're being you and that I'm loving the right guy?

How can I trust you when you tell me different stories all the time? I'm so disappointed in you. You managed to hurt me best. I'm overtly impressed by your words. You're getting as cold as death and I'm beginning to feel a wall everytime I try to reach for your hands. Am I imagining things? I doubt it. It is real. This time. It is real...

Why am I falling down so far away from Help? Now, I can barely see the sky. My clarity has been blocked. And now I am engulfed in utter darkness. I fucking cared too much for you. You just seem to be throwing all of it away, like free money to richest people in the world. Now, things seem to back fire. You're starting to push your finger into my opened wounds. Why are you starting to be this way? You're not the man I used to know. I used to love... ):