Shadows Are Security.

I cannot love them anymore. I cannot respect them anymore. I cannot be kind to them anymore. I cannot be understanding to them anymore. I cannot care about them anymore. I cannot help them anymore. I cannot trust them anymore. I cannot look at them the same anymore. I cannot think about them anymore. I cannot talk to them anymore. I cannot be around them anymore...

They sucked the air out of me. They drained my blood. They vaccummed my soul. They ate me. They skinned my heart. They sliced my eyes. They cut me open...

I never had this much hatred in me. I never felt so depressed. I never felt this betrayed. I never felt this hurt. I never felt this much pain. I never felt this much sorrow. But, I do now. Why can't they be normal, like every other family I know?

There is so much strain and tension here at home. I hate seeing them. I hate hearing their voices. I hate listening to them. I hate being pushed around, like some holla back girl. Fucking hell. They are worthless to me. They must die...

Vagued Memories.

It is clear to me that I need to stand on my own 2 feet and fight for my right to survive...

You are truly good-for-nothing. Imbecile. You plague me day and night with your stupidity. You darken my mood always. You are so cruel. Your words are always so cold. You refuse to see the world through my eyes. You live by your assumptions. You force people around you to believe the shit that you believe. Fool.

You stuff religion down my throat. You choke me with lies. You suffocated me with false hopes. You drown me in your world. But, those days are long gone, bucko. I will never come for your funeral. I have sowed discord with you long ago. I mother fucking hate you. Things are never supposed to be like this. But, your efforts of perfecting me spoilt. You had created your worst nightmare, God's damned creation; Me...

I have tried my best to be nice. I played my part to respect you. But, dream on by now for me to do so. I just hate you so much. I loathe you. I detest you. ALOT. Motherfuckers. Why must all of you be this way to me? Who the fuck do you think you are?

The Darkest Nights.

My world was oppressed. It used to be cold. Icy cold. My life was meaningless. Breathing became so difficult. It hurt my lungs alot. It felt like I was drowning in thin air. How ironic. The medium that was supposed to help me fly high seemed to be anchoring me to the pitful of snakes...

I was stuck within myself. It took me long to break free. I tried my best to see the good things in Life. Yet, I spent my youth searching for Truth and Existence of my Joy. Efforts were rather throwned in the drain. They looked better down that stream of garbage. Faith absconded. Hope died. Dreams crashed. I was on the verge of Destruction. Inflicting pain to myself was the only way out. But, I could never understand why I did not try much harder to die...

But, after I have you, I realized that it is all because of you. You saved me...

In return, I gave you all of me. I gave you everything that I got. I gave you my world. Maybe this can explain why I live for you.

Tree of Love.

Dear my love,

You worry too much that I will be unhappy being in love with you. You must know that it is clearly impossible to actually happen. You worry too much that I should deserve someone better. You must know that there is no one I will rather choose to be with except you. You worry too much that I find you useless. You must know that you have been extremely beneficial for as long as I can remember. You worry too much that I feel as if your love for me as faded away. You must know that I know you truly love me too...

I feel so free. I can almost kiss the stars at night. I play with the lonely pale Moon. I shine with the sun. See me as a tree, my dear. When the sun burns me, at most my leaves wither and drop dead. However, I still stand high and strong. When winter comes attacking, I will shiver. Eventually freeze. But, I am still sturdy. And when the wind of deceit and confusion brushes my leaves by, I will just sway. Some of my leaves may drop. But, I still stand my ground. My leaves are not my love for you. But, they are the tears when I am sad. That is all. Do not worry, alright?

No matter happens to us, our love will always be in my heart. No one can tear us apart. I will never ever let go of you. You are too precious for me to lose. I still believe that God is trying to show off to everyone that you are his best creation, my darling. I love you so much...

I am blessed by the gift to love you. I am the one for you and you are my only one. And always will be. To be able to hold you in my arms and steal all of your pain away, is the best that I can do for you. I am sorry for not being there for you all the time. Please forgive me again...

Take Your Pain & Shove it Up Your Asshole.

You are always full of lies. You are always full of dirt. You are always full of hypocrisy. You are always full of stupidity. You are always full of irrationality. You are always full of insanity. You are always full of ignorance. You are always full of pretense. You are always full of nonsense. You are always full of diabolical plans...

Why do you always wanna bring me down? Who the fuck do you think you are? Why must you always stain my life? I have been trying so very hard just to please you and make you happy. But, that seems to be insufficient to you. I do know that I have not done anything so bad to deserve the Hell that you are putting me through...

Fuck it. Why must Home always be referred to as Hell? You make my life so miserable. You really should die, you mother fucker. You never trust me. You never help me. You never like me. You never love me. You never remember the nice things I had done for you. You never notice how good I am...

What the fuck is wrong with you? I wanna shoot you in the back of your neck. I wanna stake you three times in the heart. I wannna pull out all of your fingernails. I wanna cut and slice you alive. I wanna burn you. Then you know what life feels like bleeding on the fucking floor...

Cloud Nine.

I love my baby boi so much...

I can never let go of him. I do not know why. Call me stupid. Call me blind. But no one can ever deny that I truly love the man with all my heart. There is something about him that no one else can see but me. I feel so blessed to have loved him. I always wanna be there for him....

Leaving him is never the way out. It is a whole new level of pain. That is not pleasant at all. I can never erase him from my life. It is clearly impossible. Everything I do, reminds me of him. He appears in my dreams and visits me in my sleep...

I love him. Always. And nothing can tear us apart.

Good Riddance.

Woot Woot!!!

Viv is finally out of my effin' life. 3 cheers for God who actually listens to my silent prayers!!!

Stupid mother fucker. She will not go far in life. So effin' selfish. I am certain as hell she will not go far in life. Whatta loser! She gives me bad vibes. Where is her fucking EQ? God fucking damn her. Please do so!!! Fucking hell...

She left me in the lurch. How cold is that?! Dumb bitch. I hope she suffers the shit I had to go through cus of your negligience!!! Asshole.

But then again, good riddance. I ain't gonna see that whore anymore in my upside-down world. Yessssssss....However, if I ever were to see her down town on the streets, her sorry ass will be mine. I will make sure she will not be able to walk. Again...

People in Projects.

I can't stand it at all when I have my classmates chillaxing in group projects...

I mean when the fuck will they grow up?Get real. Life isn't simplistic. Project works aren't meant to have any giggles and fun. Devotion and effort should be invested. Dumb fucks. How disgusting. I loathe such people.

It is so irritating when I am to team up with dumb shits. God. Life sure sux. Those who are close to me, prolly know who I am referring to right here. Argh!

Burn You Alive.

Mother fucker. Who the fuck she think she is?

Hypocrisy gets in the way of her life. Whore. I fucking hate her so much. Stupid bitch. She just have to cross my path. Why can't she just leave me alone?!!!

What did I do to deserve her? She is not a good person at all. So conniving. Twisted. Evil. Cruel. Harsh. Mean. Awful. Disgusting. Crazy. Unreasonable...Just bout everything that I thought a human being can never be...

I mother fucking hate her. I can't fucking stand her. Oh, how I wish I got a gun right now. Scream. Aim. Fire...

Asphyxiated.

You used to share with me all of your problems. You used to confide in me with your deepest and darkest secrets. I never did once belittle you. You used to follow me wherever I go. You used to do your best to be by your side. I never did once shrug you off whenever we met. You used to care bout me. You used to listen to me. I never did once abuse my control over you...

I always do my part in making our love work. No matter what, I will never leave you. You should have known this by now. But, apparently, I am uncertain why you do not understand that it is you that I truly want. I can never be apart from you. The thought of breathing without you around me hurts so bad.

I don't know why I always wanna be near you. Maybe there is comfort in knowing that I got a man who can always be with me and never leave me. You really have no idea just how much I care bout you. Cus if you do, you wouldn't hurt me all these while, my dear...