Confessions Of A Badly Broken Heart.

I leaned against the wall in darkness. I slid down, sitting down onto concrete. I hugged my scraped knees. I rested my head on them. I began to cry. There were so many reasons to cry. So many questions left unanswered. So many decisions made wrong. So many lies were told. So many stories were bought. So many tears shed. So many scars made. So many hopes crushed. So many dreams died...

Love was taking its toll on me once again. Mercy ditched me. Justice abandoned me. Sorrow and Anguish adopted me. Little did I know they were trying to endlessly taunt me. I am so messed up...

What have I done? What have they done? What have you done? What was I thinking? What was I doing? When would I know it would be safe?

I have lost everyone that my heart once held tight. I have never known the meaning of the word family as I had never have one in the first place. The people I have been living with are creatures from Hell. They live to bring me down. I had everything that people dreamt they owned and that was happiness. But, soon enough I lost that too. I began to devolve into being one of those people in need of happiness...

And that was when you came into my life and turned it around. You brought me joy. You showed me truth. You taught me things that I never knew existed. I learnt quickly how to love again. You showered me with immense hope and dreams. I began planting them into you. Stupidly I had believed you could be the one for me to the end of time...

You were everything I wanted. You were the man that I wished to marry when I was a little girl. You were the air I breathed. You were the heart in me. You were the sight I saw. You were the warmth I felt. You were simply my world...

Maybe I was too ambitious to love one of God’s angels. Maybe I was not doing it right. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we were not meant to be. Maybe I was just a passer-by in your life. Maybe I was a hangover for you. Maybe I was right...

I knew from the start you were going to be miserable with me. I knew from the beginning that I could not help you out in your issues. I knew from scratch that I was wasting your precious time and effort. I knew I could not be the one. But I went on with it despite knowing all of these for I was selfish and curious to feel what Love could be about. And I ended up putting you in misery...

I am sorry. I really am. I will always love you no matter what. You are the most amazing person that I have ever met. You are my best friend and the best lover I ever been with. You are one of earth’s most scared and precious gems. You are the sweetest man ever. You are so loving to me. And nobody has ever cared for me the way you have done towards me. It is so remarkable. You have touched my life with the brightest light. I will never forget you. It has been beautiful...

I have enjoyed every second I get to spend with you. I have been the luckiest girl to be able to feel real Love. I am extremely grateful for the things you have done for me. I am thankful for everything you have done. I really am. I am so blessed to have met you )':

You made my heart whole. You made me happy. You shone with brilliance and guided me in the dark. You calmed me down when I was nervous. You protected me when I was in pain. You cared for me when I was sick. You helped me undergone metamorphosis to be a young woman. You turned me into an angel. You changed me to be a better person. You loved me like there was no tomorrow )':

Filth rapes my soul. Dirt creeps into my breath. The poison flows through my veins. I just want my life to end. I am so disgusted of my existence. I do not deserve any of this heartaches. I am so messed up right now. I am tired of myself. I am so sick of me. I keep making the stupidest mistakes that will end up slicing my heart...

I am done with me. I want to die. I have lost the love of my life. I have lost my family. I have lost myself. I have nobody to turn to. I might as well rot in Hell, that is the only place where I would feel right anyways...